Don't fall in love while driving
by Ican'thinkofanything
Summary: Just a casual drive back from the movies. And by casual I mean that Alfred cannot keep his mouth shut for the life of him, and Arthur just wants to get home in one piece and get to bed by at least 8:30, truly is that so much to ask for?


**I seriously hate myself, I am so, so sorry for being the absolute worst. Most of you may not even care but I have litertally been working on this short story for 3 months. At first there was a car crash and like Arthur woke up and it wasn't real but, then he would have woken up again and Alfred would be dead. It came out like shit and this fluff happened, anyways thank you so much and enjoy?**

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"Fuuuuuuck, it's freezing!"

"I told you to turn on the heater Alfred, and don't yell I'm driving and I need to focus."

"Dude, Artie, your car wants me to freeze to death 'cause I'm literally freezing off my jingle bells here babe. No joke I can show you if 'ya want."

" _Christ_ Alfred."

"What? You're so tryin' NOT to laugh your ass off I can tell, I'm that fucking hilarious."

"Yes, you're a real comedian, you put stand up's to shame."

"Well don't flatter me now Artie, I'm blushing."

A hearty laugh escaped Arthur's chapped and nearly frozen lips, his face breaking into an ear to ear grin only worsening the pain in his cheeks. But damn it if Arthur cared, he had to force himself to focus only on the road that stretched ahead of him. Alfred seemed to glow whenever he spoke, the light he so easily seemed to create out of thin air outshone any street light that cast a harsh glare on his eyes. The man was the very definition of sunshine, he brightened up a dim room by just speaking, Arthur's small cramped car was no difference. Alfred was still brighter than any light and definitely more obnoxious.

Alfred slurped whatever remained left of his drink boisterously. "Arthie, arenth ya 'ungray? I 'ave thome thereal left if ya want thome!" Reaching into the glove compartment, Alfred dramatic revealed a zip lock bag filled to the brink with cereal that may have been there for God knows how long. He practically threw his drink away and started to open the bad with energetic vigor. "I'm like so fucking hungry Artie, and freezing, did I tell ya that I was freezing my balls off?"

"I remember you mentioning it to me a while ago," Arthur quipped in a monotone voice, more interested in the car in front of them's "Honk if you like to scuba dive" bumper sticker. Peering quickly at his boyfriend, Arthur nearly slammed harshly on the breaks. "ALFRED F. JONES DON'T YOU DARE PLACE THAT EVEN NEAR YOUR MOUTH, THAT HAS BEEN THERE FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG!"

Alfred paid no mind to his raging partner and stuffed the handful of cereal into his mouth. "Coulf ja' speak a 'ittle loler babe? I thoun't 'ear ya." The American spoke with his mouth stuffed with cereal, a few stray pieces fell out of his mouth and onto the dashboard.

Nice, very hot.

Arthur scoffed in disgust, turned up his nose and gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. "Alfred you are an abomination. For Gods sakes, Alfred, close your mouth when you chew. I can hear you over this trash," Arthur exclaimed, pointing to the radio that was blasting some annoyingly catchy song. "If anything your chewing blends in quite nicely, you and whoever the hell is singing could make quite a duo. You could go on tour and make millions on concerts, what's his face would get top billing, though." Arthur smirked to himself, amused with his own humour.

By this point, Alfred was busting a gut laughing, his mouth still full with cereal and a wide smile spread across his face. Although not his best moment, Alfred looked nothing short of perfection in the Englishmen's eyes. Even with cereal species flailing out of his mouth and landing in all sorts of directions, he seemed to be the very definition of perfection.

"H-HOLY FUCK HAHAHA-BABE OH MY-PFFTHAH-GOD!" His entire face flushed a brilliant red that could have either been from laughter or the harsh cold, his laughter competed with the melodic sounds coming from the radio. But that may have just been the thoughts of a love drunk fool because Alfreds' laughter resembled lightning and was louder and obnoxious than the idiot singing over the melodic tune. "F-FUCKING WHATS HIS-HA-FACE! O-O-OH MY-HAHA-G-GOD!"

The god damn idiot was smacking his fists against the dashboard of the car, probably leaving gigantic dents were his fists were. The entire automobile seemed to shift each time he punched the dashboard, the damn bastard and his freakish strength.

Arthur struggled to keep his stoic expression maintained, the American's smile was far too intoxicating. "For God's sakes, Alfred, calm down and don't wave around too much. I rather my car not smell like sugar and whatever else is in that god forbidden cereal."

"M-Man Artie...oh my god," Alfred tried to speak in between fits of giggles, once more stuffing a fistful of cereal into his mouth and chewing loudly. "You're fuckin' funny as hell ta'night Artie, my wee' old heart can't take it!" Grinning from ear to ear, he leaned forward as to get his boyfriends' attention who's eyes were glued to the window. (As they should be!)

"What? Are you implying that I'm never humorous in any of our dates?"

"You've never made fun of an entire movie so fantastically Artie, I'm serious you were the biggest star there."

The man scoffed, rolling his eyes absent-mindedly. "Oh god don't even remind about that horrid film, I can't believe that the frog actually enjoyed that filth. I told you we shouldn't have listened to Francis!"

"You're just in a pissy mood 'cause that lady was threatening to shove popcorn down your throat if you didn't shut up," Alfred laughed manically at the mere memory, leaning his weight onto his partner who was doing his best to ignore him. "Besides I said I wanted ta' see a scary movie but you didn't want to, so I say it's all on you Artie."

Arthur went wide eyed. "Excuse me? You are the biggest pain in the ass whenever we watch a horror film, and guess who has to put up with you? Certainly not that woman who desperately needs to use a treadmill, honestly I could hear her seat crying out in despair"

"Come on Artie, it's romantic as hell when the love of your life goes to you for defense when a demon is sucking the life outta a person," Alfred

wrapped a long and muscular arm around his boyfriend's small and boney shoulders. Leaning his forehead on the crook of Arthur's freckled neck he began to rant on and on about horror films and how they have become so predictable and no he was not easily scared by them at all.

"And like, it wasn't that I was scared to pee by myself 'cause of the move Artie."

"Of course not, that would be ridiculous."

"Exactly! It was mostly just me worried 'bout you sweetie, I love ya that much."

"Call me that one more time Alfred and so help me God I will leave this relationship and then you will have to find someone else to wake up at four in the god damn morning to walk you to the bathroom and back." Arthur snapped playfully, cringing at the memories or dragging himself out of bed just to accompany a grown man to the bathroom.

Alfred of course never knew when to quit. "I'm guessing super lump is out of the question too huh?"

"Anything that has to do with sweets is official out and leave it at that alright?" Arthur retorted with a false scowl, sighing in relief as their apartment complex came into view. The feeling of being wrapped tightly in Alfred's arms as he rambled on about god knows what, under the warm embrace of the covers sounded like heaven. "As soon as we get home we're going straight to bed, we both have to get up early and you get cranky when you don't get a good nights sleep."

Alfred practically through himself on Arthur, his limp body making it difficult to maneuver the vehicle. "Aww c'mon Artie, it's only nine and Kiku said there was this kick ass show on at like 10 I think!" He groaned loudly, sounding more like an angered toddler than a grown man. "Come on, please! It's date night!"

Arthur tried to elbow the whining American away, but his body mass surpassed his own greatly. Sometimes Arthur felt as if their relationship was more parental than romantic whenever he forced to tell Alfred to eat all his vegetables or to stop texting Kiku and go to bed.

This situation was no different.

Arthur groaned and gripped the steering wheel tighter until his knuckles turned white, and starting to form a crease in between his eyes. "For God's sakes Alfred, fine, but if you wake up in a horrible mood I will not put up with you Alfred F. Jones. I'm seriously warning you, I do not have the patience whatsoever to wake your ass up understand? The last time I tried to wake you up you literally kicked my shin, you and your ridiculous idiotic strength made me get a bruise that's still there. It's turning an ugly shade of violet and is starting to bulge even! Hone-."

The man's rapid, mindless babbling was put to an end when Alfred wrapped his muscular arms around his boyfriend's frame and pressed his lips onto his neck.

"Man Arite I love you, but babe you need to breathe every once in a while ya know?" Alfred spoke in between large smooches to Arthur's blushed freckled neck. "But man Artie, you're so sexy when you're angry at me." Alfred chuckled into his boyfriend's neck sending the sensation flood all through Arthur's body. He immediately tensed up and began to hunch up his shoulders in protest to his boyfriend's blunt showcase of affection.

Especially when he was driving, did he even care about driving safety?

"Well, then I must look like Ryan Reynolds to you all the time then." Arthur rolled his eyes cynically, unable to wipe the stupid smile off his face.

"Well, that's kinda why I wanted ta' date ya' Artie, cause you look so much like Ryan Reynolds." Alfred got out in between giggles and kisses, his childish humor showing itself. "You really got me, Artie, but you're way hotter babe don't worry." He added snuggling into Arthur's fur-lined coat with a giddy smirk tugging at his lips.

"And here I was so worried that you would leave me for Ryan Reynolds, silly me," Arthur muttered under his breath, unable to keep a stone cold expression knowing that Alfred's unwavering eyes were boring onto his face. "Stop staring at me Alfred, I'm going to have an accident with you looking at me like that. Look we're already here so hurry and get all your things and don't forget your drink, last time you did and it stayed in here for months."

"Hey after I put it in the fridge it tasted fine Artie!" Alfred defended.

Arthur scowled, repulsed, as he began to park their car."Christ, you are an abomination to the human race Alfred."

Alfred laughed and began to adjust himself so his head was laying across Arthur's lap as his entire body was hanging off the car seat. "Yeah ,but you still loooooove me!"

"Remind me why again will you? I'm starting to forget." Arthur couldn't help but blush a light pink, glancing down briefly, Alfred's shimmering blue orbs were there to greet him. Anyone could get lost in those eyes easily, eyes that sparkled and shined on their own. Arthur snapped himself out of his romantic trance and shook his head in a disapproving manner, and gently flicked Alfreds' forehead. "W-We're uh, here, come on hurry up. I want to be in bed by at least 8, 8:30 at the very latest understand?"

In between the lecture, Alfred yawned and rose up from his oh-so-comfortable position on Arthur's lap, and slurped the rest of his drink loudly. Purposely trying to aggravate Arthur just for the hell of it.

"Seriously Alfred? For God's sakes, you're an adult, at least act like one"

"Thwat?" Alfred spoke in between bites of cereal he found on the floor, much to his partner's disgust and embarrassment. "Ith's thard ta thaways be a thucking thole odel Arthie!" A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as he spoke with a mouth full Lucky Charms.

"Oh my G-IT LANDED ON MY HAIR!"

"PFFWAA DUDE! OH THAM ARTHIE!"

"Fucking Christ Alfred! That's it I'm done."

"Nooo! Aww Arfhie thont weave!"

But Arthur already slammed close the car door and cursing under his breath a string of profanities. He grumbled to himself as he fumbled with his keys and cursed loudly when he dropped them in the bushes and shrubs.

Alfred watched with a smirk as his boyfriend jumped into the bushes, and burst out laughing when Arthur screamed at the top of his lungs when he stepped on a squirrel. He dug deep into his jacket and clutched onto the box in a tight fist, swallowing the last of the Lucky Charms, and ran out to calm down his boyfriend who was still panicking.

Purposely leaving his soft drink in Arthur's cup holder, with the ring on the straw.

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 **~yay~**

 **By ~yay~ I mean that I cannot believe that I have the worst upload schedule in the world and it took me about 3 months to upload a 2,00 word story and I hate my freaking self.**

 **ANyways! Thank you so much, and goodnight.**


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